Date: 2014-05-29 08:15 pm (UTC)
zorkian: Icon full of binary ones and zeros in no pattern. (Default)
From: [personal profile] zorkian
Thanks for the points. I have heard the research on social cues before, and the priming thing. That totally makes sense.

The hard part for me is where to draw the line ... it is already hard enough for me to have/make friends, if I use what little social capital I have to call out "minor" things then I may not have anybody left to listen. And at that point, what good does it do?

And of course, there's another point: what is "minor" here? Clearly the fact that I make that distinction is indicative of some level of belief that certain levels of misogyny, rape culture, etc are "ok" and "should be let to pass" so I don't "make waves". It's hard to convince myself that it's better to be friendless if it goes badly.

But I guess that's a false dichotomy: it's totally possible that talking to my male friends about these things results in them saying "wow, you're right; I'm totally sorry! thank you for educating me!" and maybe it all turns out OK. (And, arguably, maybe losing friends because they refuse to be good people is totally valid. I suspect it is.)

In other words, it's so incredibly easy to just sit back and let things go by. I guess that's privilege.
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zorkian: Icon full of binary ones and zeros in no pattern. (Default)
Mark Smith

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