Jul. 16th, 2009 07:23 pm
zorkian: Icon full of binary ones and zeros in no pattern. (Default)
So I hate when you make a little decision and then EVERYTHING GOES WRONG IN A HIDEOUS CHAIN REACTION OF FUCKING FAIL.


Janine and I decided to go to the car wash today. It's one of those coin-op places where you pull into a stall, put your quarters in, and wash your car. Nothing too fancy. In fact, this place is particularly old and crufty, so it's actually pretty bad.

There are eight stalls. I pull in on the left side, there's some random people in the middle, Janine pulls over onto the right end. Then as we walk to the center to turn dollars into quarters, she tells me there's a stall next to her, and I should do that so I could be next to her. Okay, fine, so I move my car over there to the empty stall next to her.

I proceed to put $6.00 of quarters into the machine before realizing that the sprayer that is what you use to dispense the water onto your car is broken. It's missing the trigger. But I've already spent over half of my $10.00 in quarters, and I don't have any ability to get more (started with $11.00 cash). Pissed off, I look into the trigger mechanism and see one of those nubs that the trigger would push down, dispensing water. In a blaze of intelligence, I stick my car key up there and twist.

Yes, cue my car key bending into a rather neat angle that will make it impossible to actually stick into the car. Hmmm, that could be problematic. Then cue me turning it around and trying to bend it back the way it was supposed to go. Yeah, not gonna happen, I couldn't get it to go back into a straight enough position to seat in the lock: this is an ex-key, dead, RIP.

Thankfully, for years I've carried this little "spare" key in my wallet. It's a neat thing that Saturn gave me, just in case you lock your car keys in, you have a key in your wallet. Anyway, I pull that out (thanking every deity I can think of that I actually still carry it around even though I've never used it in four years) and it lets me into the car, starts it up, and I move over to the next stall.

I convert my last dollar bill to quarters and start feeding them to the machine, still quite pissed. I realize after a moment that the machine has malfunctioned: it stopped counting time after putting five minutes on the clock. With the $5.00 in quarters I should have had nearly ten minutes to work with! But no! I have half that, and it happily ate the rest of my quarters without budging the clock at all.

I screamed, grabbed the handle for the sprayer, and attacked my car like a maniac. Water, soap, and screeching everywhere. Five minutes later, I barely managed to rinse off the last bit of soap (although I missed a spot or two) and the water shut off. Fuck.

Janine had just parked her car and was walking over towards me. I yelled something about the fucking car wash as I drove past her and sped home, but I don't think she heard me and I probably left her very confused.

zorkian: Icon full of binary ones and zeros in no pattern. (Default)
In honor of [personal profile] hkellick, whose import has seriously been the strangest one I have encountered yet.

# figure out which items we should try to get, based on the logic that we
# should get at least 10 seconds or 20 items, whichever is more.  the former
# for the case where mass privacy breaks us, the latter for the case where
# the Howard Predicament* bites us.
# * the Howard Predicament has only been observed in the wild once.  the
#   noted behavior is that, no matter what lastsync value we send, the
#   remote server chooses to tell us we're broken.  this should not be
#   possible, but it happened to my friend Howard, and I couldn't solve
#   it through any other means than bypassing lastsync.  sigh.


zorkian: Icon full of binary ones and zeros in no pattern. (Default)
Mark Smith

April 2017

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